It's just one...

Feel really mixed about it... we're down to one. Funny how just a few months ago "one" was fantastic, and now, after this roller coaster ride (triplets! no. twins! no.) I'm feeling rather deflated.

Well, certainly a heck of a lot easier to have one... and this means Anna will probably get back to trying again sooner than later, so that's good.

But.... sigh.

Well, the one remaining little guy/gal is huge on the ultrasound. The doctor today was a bit surprised that I'm as big as I am (already pushing out of my pelvis). I've been putting on weight for multiples, so guess it's not too surprising the one left is fat and happy....

Not back in for another ultrasound for 4 more - long - weeks.

In the meantime, insane. Food cravings driving me - and Anna - up the wall and the nausea and fatigue clobbering me lately. Oh, the joys! (and we PAID for this!!!)

Well, before we know it, this too shall be past and over with... In the meantime, trying to enjoy what I can! (and hoping that 2nd trimester will bring my buoyancy back again.)

Cheers!

Garden Analogies

It is spring and new life abounds.

Tiny baby plants are sprouting in our garden and you can just feel the energy, nourishment, growth, anticipation, and excitement all around us!

I am excited beyond belief! Is this really happening? We are going to have children! I go through moments of shock, disbelief, happiness, worry, and joy over and over again!

Just remember to breathe, water, meditate, help Jerilyn in every way possible, and enjoy the seasons...!

Triplets? Twins? Just one?

We went in for our first ultrasound a bit early because I was off to Baltimore for 4 days last week and our doc suggested I get checked out before the trip. I was so nervous beforehand even I could hardly eat (so you know it was bad). Within seconds Dr. Archer goes from "oh, look, there's the heartbeat" to "oh and there's another one" to "and oh my gosh, there's a third!" I'm like WHAT?! Incredulous because I was all set to get bad news about the ONE I thought I had. And now I had THREE?! WHAT? I start hyperventilating - Anna coaching me to breathe in, breathe out. She's already falling in love with the little embryos ("Oh, isn't that the cutest thing?") while my heart rate races and I cry out for a paper bag to breathe into.

Just 2 days prior I had to take a day off work because the walk I had taken the day before had felt like running a marathon. I was EXHAUSTED - my muscles absolutely spent. Monday morning I got in the shower before work, my legs shaking, and decided there was no way I could get into work that day. I spent the day on the couch waiting for the cramping and bleeding to start. It didn't. And the ultrasound 2 days later showed 3 beating hearts. No wonder I felt like I had run a marathon - I'm supporting 3 little beings building hearts and other organs.

The latest news:
Yesterday we went in for a 2nd ultrasound. It looks like we're losing one of the embryos (what we had come to know as "Baby B"). Its little heart is beating too slowly. And "Baby C" - the one the docs thought may have had an identical twin - has 2 fluid sacs sitting around really close to it. So, what's going to happen when the placenta grows out towards the sacs? Or when the baby does? Will the sacs get in the way and prevent growth? So - this leaves us Baby A for sure. The heart beat is incredible to hear - very fast and steady. And now the heart beats are more than just a dot on the screen. We can see the arm buds, a bit of the spine.. it's amazing.

We go in for the next appointment at the end of April and we'll see how poor little Babies B and C are doing. Please wish us all luck!